Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
People in love make me want to vomit
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
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I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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