It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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