is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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