you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize