i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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