Can Purell be used as lube?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize