if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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