i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Randomize
