You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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