she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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