I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
