come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
