I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
