i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009