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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.

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• (845): View more from New York

  He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (512): View more from Texas

  when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (406): View more from Montana

  After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively

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• (562): View more from California

  I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just jacked off to nostalgia.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.

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