we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets