The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
