im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
