Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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