I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize