Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
