she looked like the before picture.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
