never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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