I am puke
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
