Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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