Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
