you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize