just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
