she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
