Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
