Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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