My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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