Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
