I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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