the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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