It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
