i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
