I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
