Where did you get a picture of my penis
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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