So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
