I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
