The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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