Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom