nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you need anything just hit me up
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him