So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity