We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
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In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
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Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.