I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?