I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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