: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
