Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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