i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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