you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
