In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I love you. Go after that dick
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
