Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize