i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
