i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize