Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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