I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?