I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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