Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them

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  (989): there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them http://tfl.nu/hqud
  Replies (4) Good night (1098) Bad night (505)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my phone needs a breathalizer

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  (413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn
  Replies (15) Good night (2304) Bad night (605)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.

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  (314): so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for. http://tfl.nu/ue3g
  Replies (16) Good night (4131) Bad night (925)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.

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  (513): He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/a93z
  Replies (13) Good night (4620) Bad night (1032)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge

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  (203): just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge http://tfl.nu/b456
  Replies (10) Good night (996) Bad night (6853)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.

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  (512): I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship. http://tfl.nu/fnhf
  Replies (12) Good night (4566) Bad night (999)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.

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  (+44): You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery. http://tfl.nu/036p
  Replies (7) Good night (1368) Bad night (2129)
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  (315): View more from New York

  You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning

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  (315): You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning http://tfl.nu/dkck
  Replies (8) Good night (3654) Bad night (806)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.

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  (702): Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament. http://tfl.nu/k9l6
  Replies (8) Good night (1510) Bad night (646)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?

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  (561): Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose? http://tfl.nu/uaga
  Replies (10) Good night (554) Bad night (841)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.

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  (609): I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved. http://tfl.nu/m2zi
  Replies (5) Good night (712) Bad night (1438)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...

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  (540): I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff... http://tfl.nu/wq37
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (902)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?

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  (608): Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night? http://tfl.nu/t0sh
  Replies (7) Good night (1608) Bad night (542)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.

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  (720): I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left. http://tfl.nu/nrse
  Replies (9) Good night (450) Bad night (600)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget

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  (610): So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget http://tfl.nu/3geu
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (467)

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