Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.

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  (253): Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life. http://tfl.nu/h3s9
  Replies (33) Good night (4965) Bad night (1302)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great

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  (804): Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great http://tfl.nu/xifb
  Replies (26) Good night (5776) Bad night (558)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.

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  (573): Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving. http://tfl.nu/96e5
  Replies (33) Good night (820) Bad night (3205)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.

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  (813): Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase. http://tfl.nu/k8pp
  Replies (20) Good night (4626) Bad night (806)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!

  (1-228): View more from Mississippi

  brownberry?

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  (228): Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!! (1-228): brownberry? http://tfl.nu/y1s8
  Replies (19) Good night (1387) Bad night (6014)
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  (408): View more from California

  I don't have enough holes for all these australians

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  (408): I don't have enough holes for all these australians http://tfl.nu/dq24
  Replies (13) Good night (5991) Bad night (1392)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America

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  (330): I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America http://tfl.nu/nfrq
  Replies (24) Good night (6827) Bad night (1073)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.

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  (413): Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor. http://tfl.nu/leq0
  Replies (12) Good night (4294) Bad night (1645)
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.

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  (415): Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time. http://tfl.nu/wfi0
  Replies (5) Good night (2166) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.

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  (914): Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house. http://tfl.nu/9b9q
  Replies (1) Good night (1250) Bad night (818)
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  (714): View more from California

  It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.

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  (714): It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you. http://tfl.nu/6jll
  Replies (11) Good night (1997) Bad night (668)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.

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  (720): I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation. http://tfl.nu/ssju
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (393)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"

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  (503): For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess" http://tfl.nu/pkfj
  Replies (5) Good night (583) Bad night (328)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?

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  (763): I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I? http://tfl.nu/xms3
  Replies (6) Good night (907) Bad night (532)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank

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  (716): Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank http://tfl.nu/v8v3
  Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (277)

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