You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"