Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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