Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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