There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize