apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
